Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Spam, the Facepalm and nothing what so ever about sewing or the Monkey.

I fully intended to write a totally different post today, but a quick check of my email has sent me in another direction altogether.  Browsing through my email spam today, I am amazed at some of the crap in there.  Do I want a bigger willy? (direct quote), hmmm not so much.  Bigger boobs? again, fine thanks for asking.  As I browse through the list of supposed eye catching headers I am a little bored at the lack of creativity out there.  These are some of the ones that have popped out.

How would I like a degree from Tiffin University Online? (who wouldn't), what about a new home? Maybe a miracle in a bottle (yes seriously).  How about some dating help? Christian, lesbian, gay, (all the demographics are represented) we got you covered.

I have recently succumbed and subscribed online to a baby tv and Nickelodeon to gain my 15 mins of me time at the end of the day.  (We don't have cable, because who has time to watch TV during the day, and I download anything else as the rest is crap filled with commercials). That time when you are so broken and you still have to cook dinner, (or as I call it, sneak into the kitchen and down a glass of wine while trying not to let the buggers see they have won)  I am not proud but screw it but you go with what works.

Now because of this subscription, the spam level has doubled.  It even managed to sneak into my actual email account.  How do the buggers get in there? I so nearly clicked on one today that told me my paypal account was going to be deleted.  The next one said that all I had to do was update my account details.  Seriously, did I sail in on that last banana boat?!?!?  What worries me though, is that it is a little difficult to tell from a simple email address alone.  It looks legit, right?  It says it is from Paypal and customer service right?.  But something smells, so into the trash you go my friend.

It is the ones that tell me I have unpaid accounts from random shops or institutions with complicated hashtag order numbers in brackets that can only be something I have ordered.  I especially like the ones that tell me I have inherited some money, and all I have to do is simply fill in my account details and I will be rich. Are people really that naive?

Then there are always the emails from "long lost" friends.  The ones that lead with "hey there" or "long time no speak" or some other such inanity.  My personal distaste though, is reserved for the douche bags (this was the nicest way I cold sum these people up) who worm there way into your account and then Spam the be'jezus out of everyone you know.  Now this in itself is spectacularly annoying, but what really grips my shit is when you start to get mails back from people you haven't spoken to in years.  Your ex, your old boss, someone you stalked once or your relatives.  You know, that person who you never bothered to delete from your contacts, or who you kept so you know when to avoid them.  Don't look like that! We all have them.  That is where I draw the line.

So to you hacking, spam sending shit heads of cyber space, eff off and leave us alone.  I have enough to do with out weeding out all your nonsense.

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